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IT was very lonely at first in solitary, and the hours were long.
Time was marked by the regular changing of the guards, and by
the alternation of day and night. Day was only a little light, but it
was better than the all-dark of the night In solitary, the day was
an ooze, a slimy seepage of light from the bright outer world.
Never was the light strong enough to read by. Besides, there
was nothing to read. One could only lie and think and think. And I
was a lifer, and it seemed certain if I did not do a miracle, make
thirty-five pounds of dynamite out of nothing, that all the years of
my life would be spent in the silent dark.
My bed was a thin and rotten tick of straw spread on the cell
floor. One thin and filthy blanket constituted the covering. There
was no chair, no table—nothing but the tick of straw and the thin,
aged blanket. I was ever a short sleeper and ever a busy-brained
man. In solitary one grows sick of oneself in his thoughts, and the
only way to escape oneself is to sleep. For years I had averaged
five hours sleep a night. I now cultivated sleep. I made a science
of it. I became able to sleep ten hours, then twelve hours, and at
last, as high as fourteen and fifteen hours out of the twenty-four.
But beyond that I could not go, and, perforce, was compelled to lie
awake and think and think. And that way, for an active-brained
man, lay madness.
I sought devices to enable me mechanically to abide my
waking hours. I squared and cubed long series of numbers, and by
concentration and will carried on most astonishing geometric
progressions. I even dallied with the squaring of the circle . . .
until I found myself beginning to believe that that impossibility
could be accomplished. Whereupon, realizing that there too lay
madness, I forewent the squaring of the circle, although I assure
you it required a considerable sacrifice on my part, for the mental
exercise involved was a splendid time-killer.
By sheer visualization under my eyelids, I constructed
chessboards and played both sides of long games through to
checkmate. But when I had become expert at this visualized game
of memory, the exercise palled on me. Exercise it was, for there
could be no real contest when the same player played both sides. I
tried, and tried vainly, to split my personality into two personalities
and to pit one against the other. But ever I remained the one
player, with no planned ruse or strategy on one side that the other
side did not simultaneously apprehend.
And time was very heavy and very long. I played games with
flies, with ordinary houseflies that oozed into solitary as did the dim
gray light; and I learned that they possessed a sense of play. For
instance, lying on the cell floor, I established an arbitrary and
imaginary line along the wall some three feet above the floor.
When they rested on the wall above this line they were left in
peace. The instant they lighted on the wall below the line I tried to
catch them. I was careful never to hurt them and, in time, they
knew as precisely as did I where ran the imaginary line. When
they desired to play, they lighted below the line, and often for an
hour at a time a single fly would engage in the sport. When it grew
tired, it would come to rest on the safe territory above.
Of the dozen or more flies that lived with me during that
period, there was only one who did not care for the game. He
refused steadfastly to play and, having learned the penalty of
alighting below the line, very carefully avoided the unsafe territory.
That fly was a sullen, disgruntled creature. As the convicts
would say, it had a "grouch" against the world. He never played
with the other flies either. He was strong and healthy, too; for I
studied him long to find out. His indisposition for play was
temperamental, not physical.
Believe me, I knew all my flies. It was surprising to me, the
multitude of differences I distinguished between them. Oh, each
was distinctly an individual—not merely in size and markings,
strength and speed of flight, and in the manner and fancy of flight
and play, of dodge and dart, of wheel and swiftly repeat or wheel
and reverse, of touch and go on the danger wall, or of feint the
touch and alight elsewhere within the safety zone. They were
likewise sharply differentiated in the minutest shades of mentality
and temperament.
I knew the nervous ones, the phlegmatic ones. There was a
little undersized one that would fly into real rages, sometimes with
me, sometimes with its fellows. Have you ever seen a colt or calf
throw up heels and dash madly about the pasture from sheer
excess of vitality and spirits? Well, there was one fly—the keenest
player of them all, by the way—who, when it had alighted three or
four times in rapid succession on my taboo wall and succeeded
each time in eluding the velvet-careful swoop of my hand, would
grow so excited and jubilant that it would dart around and around
my head at top speed, wheeling, veering, reversing, and always
keeping within the limits of the narrow circle in which it
celebrated its triumph over me.
Why, I could tell well in advance when any particular fly was
making up its mind to begin to play. There are a thousand details
in this one matter alone that I shall not bore you with, although
these details did serve to keep me from being bored too utterly
during that first period in solitary. But one thing I must tell you. To
me it is most memorable—the time when the one with a grouch,
who never played, alighted in a moment of absentmindedness
within the taboo precinct and was immediately captured
in my hand. Do you know, he sulked for an hour afterward.
And the hours were very long in solitary; nor could I sleep
them all away; nor could I while them away with houseflies, no
matter how intelligent For houseflies are houseflies, and I was a
man, with a man's brain; and my brain was trained and active,
stuffed with culture and science, and always geared to a high
tension of eagerness to do. And there was nothing to do, and my
thoughts ran abominably on in vain speculations. There was my
pentose and methyl-pentose determination in grapes and wines to
which I had devoted my last summer vacation at the Asti
Vineyards. I had all but completed the series of experiments.
Was anybody else going on with it? I wondered; and if so, with
what success?
You see, the world was dead to me. No news of it filtered in.
The history of science was making fast, and I was interested in a
thousand subjects. Why, there was my theory of the hydrolysis of
casein by trypsin, which Professor Walters had been carrying out
in his laboratory. Also, Professor Schleimer had similarly been
collaborating with me in the detection of phytosterol in mixtures of
animal and vegetable fats. The work surely was going on, but
with what results? The very thought of all this activity just beyond
the prison walls and in which I could take no part, of which I was
never even to hear, was maddening. And in the meantime I lay
there on my cell floor and played games with houseflies.
And yet all was not silence in solitary. Early in my
confinement I used to hear, at irregular intervals, faint low
tappings. From farther away I also heard fainter and lower
tappings. Continually these lappings were interrupted by the
snarling of the guard. On occasion, when the tapping went on too
persistency, extra guards were summoned, and I knew by the
sounds that men were being strait-jacketed.
The matter was easy of explanation. I had known, as every
prisoner in San Quentin knew, that the two men in solitary were
Ed Morrell and Jake Oppenheimer. And I knew that these were
the two men who tapped knuckle-talk to each other and were
punished for so doing.
That the code they used was simple I had not the slightest
doubt, yet I devoted many hours to a vain effort to work it out.
Heaven knows, it had to be simple, yet I could not make head nor
tail of it. And simple it proved to be, when I learned it; and
simplest of all proved the trick they employed which had so
baffled me. Not only each day did they change the point in the
alphabet where the code initialed, but they changed it every
conversation, and often in the midst of a conversation.
Thus, there came a day when I caught the code at the right
initial, listened to two clear sentences of conversation, and, the
next time they talked, failed to understand a word. But that first
time!
"Say—Ed—what—would—you—give—right—now—for—brown—papers—and—a—sack—of—Bull—Durham?" asked the one who tapped from farther away.
I nearly cried out in my joy. Here was communication! Here
was companionship! I listened eagerly, and the nearer tapping,
which I guessed must be Ed Morrell's, replied:
"I—would—do—twenty—hours—straight—in—the—jacket—for—a—five—cent—sack—"
Then came the snarling interruption of the guard:
"Cut that out, Morrell!"
It may be thought by the layman that the worst has been
done to men sentenced to solitary for life, and therefore that a
mere guard has no way of compelling obedience to his order to
cease tapping. But the jacket remains. Starvation remains. Thirst
remains. Manhandling remains. Truly, a man pent in a narrow cell
is very helpless.
So the tapping ceased, and that night, when it was next
resumed, I was all at sea again. By prearrangement they had
changed the initial letter of the code. But I had caught the clue
and, in the matter of several days occurred again the same initialment
I had understood. I did not wait on courtesy.
"Hello," I tapped.
"Hello, stranger," Morrell tapped back; and from
Oppenheimer, "Welcome to our city."
They were curious to know who I was, how long I was
condemned to solitary, and why I had been so condemned. But all
this I put to the side in order first to learn their system of changing
the code initial. After I had this clear, we talked. It was a great
day, for the two lifers had become three, although they accepted
me only on probation. As they told me long after. they feared I
might be a stool placed there to work a frame-up on them. It had
been done before, to Oppenheimer, and he had paid dearly for the
confidence he reposed in Warden Atherton's tool.
To my surprise—yes, to my elation, be it said—both my fellow
prisoners knew me through my record as an incorrigible. Even
into the living grave Oppenheimer had occupied for ten years had
my fame, or notoriety, rather, penetrated.
I had much to tell them of prison happenings and of the
outside world. The conspiracy to escape of the forty lifers, the
search for the alleged dynamite, and all the treacherous frame-
up of Cecil Winwood, was news to them. As they told me, news
did occasionally dribble into solitary by way of the guards, but they
had had nothing for a couple of months. The present guards on
duty in solitary were a particularly bad and vindictive set.
Again and again that day we were cursed for our knuckle-talking
by whatever guard was on. But we could not refrain. The
two of the living dead had become three, and we had so much to
say, while the manner of saying it was exasperatingly slow and I
was not so proficient as they at the knuckle game.
"Wait till Pie-Face comes on tonight," Morrell rapped to me.
"He sleeps most of his watch, and we can talk a streak."
How we did talk that night. Sleep was farthest from our
eyes. Pie-Face Jones was a mean and bitter man, despite his
fatness; but we blessed that fatness because it persuaded to
stolen snatches of slumber. Nevertheless, our incessant tapping
bothered his sleep and irritated him so that he reprimanded us
repeatedly. And by the other night guards we were roundly
cursed. In the morning all reported much tapping during the night,
and we paid for our little holiday; for at nine came Captain Jamie
with several guards to lace us into the torment of the jacket. Until
nine the following morning, for twenty-four straight hours, laced
and helpless on the floor without food or water, we paid the price
for speech.
Oh, our guards were brutes. And under their treatment we
had to harden to brutes in order to live. Hard work makes
calloused hands. Hard guards make hard prisoners. We continued
to talk and, on occasion, to be jacketed for punishment. Night was
the best time and, when substitute guards chanced to be on, we
often talked through a whole shift.
Night and day were one with us who lived in the dark. We
could sleep any time, we could knuckle-talk only on occasion. We
told one another much of the history of our lives, and for long
hours Morrell and I have lain silently, while steadily, with faint far
taps, Oppenheimer slowly spelled out his life story, from the early
years in a San Francisco slum, through his gang-training, through
his initiation into all that was vicious when as a lad of fourteen he
served as night messenger in the red-light district, through his first
detected infraction of the laws, and on and on through thefts and
robberies to the treachery of a comrade and to red slayings inside
prison walls.
They called Jake Oppenheimer the "Human Tiger." Some
cub reporter coined the phrase that will long outlive the man to
whom it was applied. And yet I ever found in Jake Oppenheimer
all the cardinal traits of right humanness. He was faithful and
loyal. I know of the times he has taken punishment in preference
to informing on a comrade. He was brave. He was patient. He
was capable of self-sacrifice—I could tell a story of this, but shall
not take the time. And justice, with him, was a passion. The
prison killings done by him were due entirely to this extreme
sense of justice. And he had a splendid mind. A lifetime in prison,
ten years of it in solitary, had not dimmed his brain.
Morrell, ever a true comrade, also had a splendid brain. In
fact, and I who am about to die have the right to say it without
incurring the charge of immodesty, the three best minds in San
Quentin, from the warden down, were the three that rotted there
together in solitary. And here at the end of my days, reviewing all
that I have known of life, I am compelled to the conclusion that
strong minds are never docile. The stupid men, the fearful men,
the men ungifted with passionate rightness and fearless
championship—these are the men who make model prisoners. I
thank all gods that Jake Oppenheimer, Ed Morrell, and I were not
model prisoners.
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